Gary Thomas on Making A Wise Marital Choice: Sacred Search

It's not about who you marry but why you marry...

A good marital choice is like a gift that keeps on giving. A foolish marital choice is like a bad investment that you keep having to pay off. We don't know what we have to face in the future but God allows us to choose the person with whom we face our trials and successes.

10 yrs after you're married, what kind of tears will you be crying? Tears of frustration or tears of gratitude and joy? Will you be thankful for the growth you have received in your marriage or feel burdened and distressed?

The best way to have a healthy soul building marriage is to listen to the words of Jesus:

"Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

Matthew 6:33 (New Living Translation)

The more this verse drives your choice is the more you will be blessed. Jesus leads us in the wisest marital choice we could make. Being in love or infatuated with someone is not a good enough reason to get married. Infatuation leads to idealization and ascribing strengths to a person that doesn't exist. You can't be infatuated with someone for the rest of your life.

Infatuation has never sustained a single marriage. Marriage is hard but a rich ground for learning about communication, encouragement, conflict, forgiveness and compromise. Infatuation and sexual chemistry are necessary but not enough. It serves a purpose but it is not enough.

Insisting on infatuation before marrying someone could blind you towards someone who could make a good marital partner.

Selfishness gets boring but when you get married to seek first the kingdom of God then as a couple you are able to have a sustained intimacy with God's leading. A small life can't sustain a big marriage. You will get bored with each other and resent each other for being bored. If a woman respects a man that respect is going to grow because his character is going to blossom.

We don't choose to be infatuated but if it does happen, you can gather a group of friends and let them know that you are vulnerable and that they should watch over you.

Seek first the Kingdom, not just church involvement but the hearts and souls of people.

~Love God,Live life,One Enkounter at a Time~

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