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Communication Lessons from Two Little Haitian Boys



The other day I was standing at the bus stop when two little Haitian boys (about 5 and 8) came running towards me ahead of their father and then...*SPLASH*

The day before, there was a snow storm and that day the sun started melting away the snow, creating huge puddles. School was out for Spring Break so I guess that also added to their excitement. 

The elder boy jumped in a puddle and got muck water all over my boots and leggings ( the boots I didn't mind...but my leggings...cringe). He immediately said sorry twice and I forced a smile and said okay.

As soon as the father caught up, the younger son started telling him what happened (in Haitian Creole) and I instinctively turned to the dad and said, "He said he was sorry." (In English) 

The elder boy with a puzzled look on his face said something to his dad in Haitian Creole and the dad replied in English, "Why don't you ask her?" The conversation...

Boy: (Smiling) Do you speak Creole?
Me: (Smiling) No I don't.
                       *PAUSE*
Boy: (Puzzled) Then how did you know that's what my brother was saying to my dad?
Me: (Smiling a bit too much now) I studied communication, so even though I don't know the meaning of his words, based on how he said it, I understood what he was saying.
Boy: (Even more puzzled look)

This incident brought back to mind some of the communication theories I've encountered that emphasize the importance of non-verbal/contextual communication...

 80 per cent of what is communicated is non-verbal and only 20 per cent is verbal (using words).

7%-38%-55% Rule, where according to Mehrabian, in first impression contexts, verbal communication (words) carry far less weight (7%) while the rest is non-verbal. 

That week I tried to be more self-aware of my non-verbal communication in a group setting. I realized that in several instances my non-verbal cues did not match up with who I am, what I was thinking or even how I was feeling. This is problematic...

Then I wondered, if these theories are true then wouldn't schools gain more from teaching an understanding of non-verbal communication from the elementary level? Wouldn't employees benefit from transparent and constructive appraisal of their non-verbal communication on the job? And wouldn't couples benefit from openly discussing non-verbal changes in their remstionship?

Something to think about...

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