What happened to us?

When did things become so awkwardly different? We’re not as close as we used to be anymore...I know that time and people change, but we were supposed to remain the same. Or maybe I was the one who changed. The trouble is, I don’t know when, how and why. Remember those days when we would take long strolls in the hot summer sun just because we both enjoyed walking and because the right company was all we needed? Remember those days when we would just sit and reminisce for hours and hours about things past - happy, sad and indifferent? Remember those days I would just leap on your bed with all my might and what you would ALWAYS say? Remember those times when we went days and days without end (it seems) content- on chicken soup. Lol. I remember...

Maybe things changed the day I realized you were old. The day I actually realized what getting old represented. That day he died and it clicked that you could be next... and then you started getting so very sick. It’s almost as if I started cutting the ties one by one so that it wouldn’t hurt so much in the end. I feel so guilty and selfish now but I can’t help it...I really can’t...I don’t know what to do. And now the lights are fading slowly and I don’t know when they will go out. Your daughter is 1yr older today and that reminds me that it means less time for you. I wanted you to be around forever, I actually thought it was possible back then...I was so young and naive, but now I see the truth...and it hurts like hell. But I will always remember, no matter what happens to either of us, I promise that I will never forget and you will remain in my heart forever.

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A Matter of Time

I don't think it's any coincidence that God's time seems to be the theme for this month. There just always seems to be a time line involved in everything we want to get done. Anyway, as my birthday is fast approaching I've been spending time reflecting, going through pictures, reading my journals just really reflecting to get some perspective. What was interesting was that while going through the journal I just happened to buck up this to-do list...yea...one of those goal to-do lists where I need to do x by y time . Funnily, the list was written back in 2006 and it had check boxes placed next to the goals. I noticed that at least 3 boxes were still not ticked at the time, while others were ticked and dated...and now for the surprise the unchecked were: 1. Become a lacto-ovo vegetarian 2. Go Natural and 3. Something else that I can't quite remember now.. . It was very funny to me, as reading it marked the 8th day since I had gone vegan with no desire for mea...

The Driveway : Another Dream

After posting the last post I made about time , I went to sleep and once again had a strange dream. I have since been contemplating what to make of this dream. I mean how and when can we really ever tell when a dream is just a dream or a vision or even worse a warning? Last night I must have had a lengthy dream but what I can remember is being at this place, I am not sure where it was, but in my mind it seemed to be at this specific house. The house where my grandmother used to live in Frankfield. It somehow seemed different though as there were scores of strange people mulling about and as the stretch of land to get down from the road to the house...the 'driveway', had steps instead of stones and seemed much longer and steeper. What is even more strange was that people drove down the steps and there were three (3) vehicles down in the yard (bear in my mind that in reality the front and side yard of that house has no space for vehicles and vehicles have never been down there as...

Believe

A thought came to me today while visiting a family member's church and hearing the age old and simple message of salvation. The thought was about the basic principle of 'belief' which is a principle of both the physical world and the spiritual world. For example, in the physical world we prepare for the next day believing we will live to experience it. We plant and nurture flowers believing they will grow. We board a plane believing the pilot/plane will get us to our destinations safely and so on. Similarly in the Christian faith, in order to have a relationship with God we must believe. There are at least 36 bible verses referencing belief. Top of the list is that we must believe that Jesus Christ existed, died on the cross for our sins and is our ultimate connection to God. We must believe all of these things that we've never seen in order to have a relationship with God - hence why Christians are also called Believers. I was reflecting on how much...

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